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EMBRACE THE DARKNESS


HAPPINESS IS OVERRATED

Me: Being happy for a few days for no reason.

Depression: Hey there! I’ve missed you. Now time's up.



I often wonder why and when did this happen to me? Since when the only friend I’ve had was my own mind? Since when did I learn to guard my heart and for what reason?

So, in order to find the answer, I deleted all my social media accounts for a short period of time. During quarantine. I didn’t have any contact with the outside world, except my family. This way I thought I could find my ‘happiness’ once again but that wouldn’t be because of a chat I had with someone who made me laugh or I heard some good news or I helped another human being. I was desperate to find my own Everlasting Happiness.

But one thing remained. My music. I couldn’t abandon it. And I was listening to NF, the only rapper I listen and take advice from haha.

Sooo, while listening to one of his amazing songs, I came to question my own quest. Why do I need to find happiness? Why can’t I throw things around when I’m angry or cry myself to sleep when I’m feeling low? Why is it that one needs to be happy? Why can’t we experience every emotion? Isn’t life experiencing things however good or bad? Then why are we told to smile and stay positive during bad times? Why are we told to suppress our ‘other’ feelings? Aren’t they too a part of our life?

This is who I am. The thoughts I have. The emotions I feel. If I feel sadness more than I am happy, so what? What is wrong in feeling sadness or rather any other emotion? When can we learn, as a society, that it is not cowardice but bravery to express our emotions?

To express ourselves the way we truly are. And embrace it.

And I’m not saying that if one is depressed or sad or feels any negative emotion, they should remain that way. Of course no one wants or hopes to remain depressed their whole lives. What I mean by my argument is that it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be depressed. But what matters is what you do to change your emotions. How do you hold onto hope when there seems to be none, when you are depressed?

Instead of telling people which all feelings and emotions they should hide from the society, and from themselves, why can’t we tell them that It Is Okay to feel those emotions. Because that is what defines us. Our thoughts and our feelings towards others. And most importantly, towards ourselves.

So, rather than ‘Seeking’ Happiness, I believe we should focus more on the question:
WHY DO WE NEED TO FIND HAPPINESS?


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